Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
