Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
People in love make me want to vomit
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
