Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You working tonight?

(856): View more from New Jersey

Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess

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(248): View more from Michigan

Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face

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(309): View more from Illinois

I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch

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(352): View more from Florida

If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.

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(416): View more from Toronto

it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.

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