He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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