JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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