I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We have so much sex to catch up on
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
