Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
