I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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