also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
