my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
