I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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