If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
