Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
