pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
