I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
