Kiss
Puke
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
