That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
