hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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