Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
