hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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