is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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