Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
