He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
