I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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