why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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