Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
