Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
