omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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