im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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