benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
