I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
