We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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