so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
