So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize