She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
