Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
