I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
