Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
