I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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