The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
