You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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