omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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