Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
