I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
