You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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