Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
