Porn is love you can see.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You've changed since you got that strap on
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