She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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