I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
