I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize