i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
