Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
