haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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