I'm drive I can fine osifer
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
