we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
